.: explore me :.

21 days

2006-03-09T23:58:58Z

my path exams arrive in 21 days time.

am i scared?you betcha.i feel i've not done much, and it's scary because there's so so so much to do.

SO SO SO MUCH to do.ok time to get back to work.yes blogs are for me to tell u my feelings, and right now -i'm feeling SCARED.

sometimes, just sometimes.

2006-02-25T01:15:46Z

We're going to be friends

thanks so so much to jason for a great nite out at jj.sweet memories of perhentian,hot sun and bikinis.not to mention extreme tanning(self inflicted) , sleeping on hammocks all nite and great snorkelling.also terry the terrible terrapin.

post rum/beer/vodka/gin epiphany

2006-02-20T21:38:51Z

i am slowly taking back the negative things i thought of love.its not as bad as they make it out to be.

of great songs and more

2006-02-09T20:46:58Z

congrats on mom for becoming a lecturer!just shows that my mom, after being retired for 2 months cant help but start working again.

:)

and i got the best best best slow song ever.its from the Sony Bravia advert- u know the ones with the bouncing coloured balls.it's by Jose Gonzalez - "Hearbeats". you wont regret it. trust me.

Up the dubs

its finally done!!

2006-02-03T10:41:14Z

"Phaeochromocytoma - more than just a bad headache" is finally done!

I'd put it up here, but i know the ever prowling and plagiarist eyes of the net my article can never be safe.but suffice to say, it sends chills down my spine when i read it, its like something i'd read from NEJM, except with my name on the top. AMAZING!

I hope it gets in the Trinity Student Medical Journal, and then i can be on my way to worldwide fame , and hopefully conquer the world with cuddles and sandwiches! (those two things will save the world)

I can't wait for saturday's BBQ at my place!

you are weightless, semi erotic...

2006-01-29T23:32:17Z

its the first day of chinese new year and i spent majority of it
a)sulking
b)cleaning the toilet

sulking because of someone's broken car clutch and thus unable to visit me and cleaning the toilet- well it was fuckin filthy and man i cleaned that mofo up good.i can see my reflection in the toilet bowl i swear! ;)

i've been having lots of conflicting feelings lately about love and life and the person that i want to spend the rest of my life with.do i even want to get married?i dont know.i've got so many things going for me, medicine, my future career as a surgeon, everything.and to settle down , i think ill need a lot of time, and a very understanding partner.

today i was talking to klay and she was telling me- "nigel stop playing around and start looking, you're 22 and its time to settle down soon".

THAT WAS A FIRST.damn im not even fuckin mid twenties and people started asking me to settle down.well for the record this is a chiense girl from cheras but still, i mean, 22?FUCK NO!

i've got another 2 medicine years, then 7 surgical training years..then MAYBE.just maybe.see how things go.

i dunno, i'm to indecisive when it comes to serious life changing things like this.i think i might just have ADHD. god help me.

this is one helluva feeling.

2006-01-27T02:02:39Z

dear butterflies,

stay in my stomach and never leave, im begging you.

love,
nigel.

sometimes songs are just that good

2006-01-21T14:27:03Z

at the risk of sounding emo - Death Cab for Cute - A Lack of Colour is a really, really,really good song.it's got lyrics that matter and a great guitar accompanying it.

sometimes , only sometimes, great songs like this surface and it should be our responsibility to listen to it.and ENJOY.

ill probably end up overplaying it and hating it soon enough.

sound of settling?

2006-01-17T01:08:50Z

today i watched "Matchpoint" starring the ever-so-beautiful Ms.Calvin Klein herself (oh those come hither looks and the wispy voice!).She's just amazing.that blonde hair, that look of hers.fucking amazing.

ok ok Jonathan Rhys Meyers was good as well.but the movie beckoned only one question - how much would u do for love?and i dont mean like what he did in the movie, though.but think about it : married with a great wife, amazing job(thanks to father in law) and a BREATHTAKING apartment on the Embankment in London. and would he risk it all to be with this one,beautiful girl?

would you?

as much as i would like to seem adventurous and taking risks with my lovelife : i'd probably stay with the wife.I mean, fuck yeah you'd do that one girl - Ms. Johannson plays that oh-you-so-would-leave-her-for-me girl to perfect. But to lost that financial stability,the life you've grown used to..and that apartment.I wouldn't.see it always boils down to money.as sad as that sounds.

but then again - im incapable of love, so it's easy for me.

this is the sound of settling....

just a quick note

2005-12-13T07:46:21Z

wish me luck for today

mycobacterium tuberculosis

2005-12-11T19:24:32Z

my view for the past few weeks

it's ending soon.thank GOD!

question?

2005-12-09T21:09:21Z

do i sound that "nerddyy gilleerr" if i said i was ecstatic i found out how to log on to my UNI's proxy, and now I can read all my journals online(except NEJM...damn canadians)?

oh well, nerdy i am, green eggs and ham, sam i am, i am sam.

today

2005-12-07T15:12:02Z

today

oohh sorry

2005-12-05T02:40:45Z

oooohhh sorry.

thanks for the link K-Man

realisations

2005-12-05T00:13:05Z

i just realised when i used to chat on IRC, and people asked me how life was, i use to say "Life sucks".(mind you this is 1997,1998-ish era)

thats so so weird because not in a thousand years now i could have thought i, once , would have sounded like one of those emo kids with nothing better to hate than life and their parents(though i loved mine).i think at that time, i just thought life sucked because i never understood why i never appealed to the girls, unlike those athletic oh-so-cool-but-nothing-inside kinda boys.so i told myself i will never end up like them.thus, i told myself i'll never just go out with a girl for looks(she's gotta have something inside),that i gotta talk talk talk talk,gotta be spontanious(bit of an oxymoron eh, never roll over and sleep after sex, buy her flowers,bring her out for dinner,buy her nice pretty things,write poetry(YES AT ONE TIME!),be well read,be well mannered. basically just turn out to be the complete antithesis of whatever these boys in my school were.

have i actually done it?

sometimes when i think about it,no.

for HB

2005-11-27T21:29:15Z

my thoughts are with you.

run as far as you can get, hb.

pic of the day

2005-11-12T17:35:53Z

Thambi

one late nite

2005-10-24T19:35:35Z

my stomach is grumbling, i've lost a good 1 litre of sweat and it's time to pick up my weights, barbells and bench from sim!! i can't wait! :)

my dream of a having a gym in my house is slowly coming to become a reality!! :)

4 more days and i'm back to my shirt-tie-stethoscope do. can't wait!

piccies so you dont forget me.

2005-10-13T16:50:32Z

i'm sh-sh-shaking-sh-shaking!
taken my jpeg, my trusted copilot, during merdeka celebrations!

bottle and a view part 2

2005-09-22T15:24:22Z

bottle and a view part 2

anybody home?

2005-09-22T15:09:53Z

is anybody home?

a new beginning

2005-09-18T04:46:44Z

monday morning started at 0500hrs.

woke up, woke the boyz up and then we were all off, first day at our new rotation.i've been assigned to vascular surgery, which just means ME getting up early becausze apparently surgeons are anal retentive sterile(thank DSA X-Ray scan for that one) bastards who start work at 7am.EVERY morning.:( yes, i'm NOT shitting you(i seirously wish i was,man).

but it was good, the consultant, SHO , SpR , Reg and interns are superb, really helpful and willing to let you try everything! i even took blood for the first time the other day, and now im taking it every other day.it'sr eally cool.i think i'm cut out for medicine.i mean, i get to talk to people AND help them.really feel sometimes like i'm really playing my part and doing something, and THATS when i walk tall and feel good.

people sometimes say they are not interested in hospitals..i have no idea why!its so interesting esp. if you know people(Interns, minimum).they help so much and even the other day io stayed til 2330hrs (mind u this is me starting AT 0700hrs) because it was an emergency orthopedic trauma, together with plastics AND vascular.superbly interesting, got to see loads.helped out.but did not scrub in yet(as in, i wore scrubs, but to SCRUB in means u wear the sterile gown,special gloves and can only stay in the GREEN area(which is sterile).you also have to SCRUB your hand and fingers for 10 mins, til it's red(to take off the residual organisms on ur hand).superbly painful, but great :)

i'm looking forward to sleeping in tonite, so i best be off.im act in halls now, it's jasons bday and i followed hima ll the way home jus to chill out.but that mofo is sleeping.so am i.

:)

xxx

the time i blogged from singapore

2005-09-04T17:04:43Z

hmm

i've left malaysia for dublin, sigh and it's going to be another 1 year(minimum) til i'm back, maybe?who knows?with electives..sigh i really dont know.

either way, singapore is cool..my tummy is rumbling but i'm happy because i've got Padi's Menanti Sebuah Jawaban(OST Ungu Violet). I looked high and low for the DVD but to no avail.i really want to bring that movie home, didn't get time to watch in in cinemas..so if anybody's coming to dublin....*hint*

if you're reading this and dont know what to download - ANY PADI song!

heck they're really good, esp the song above.also, sesuatu yang indah and semua tak sama are my personal fav. and if you're going to say "they're singing in malay, i dont like malay songs"...ill say 2 things.

one,
i'ts INDONESIAN

and two
people who think like that shouldn't be listening to music in the first place if you're going to stick to one language. :)

i love this song..repeat repeat!

i'll miss you malaysia..and to my friends who made it awesome, the gang- jas quek shaz irene (for hours of entertainment!!) mark jason renee(reni) char sarah+gang and everybody else- muchos thanks!

the time i posted a pic of myself

2005-08-31T09:45:58Z

me in a pre-victorian neo-colonial picture.i think i'm due for a shave

shiny bright lights

2005-08-17T15:13:00Z

shiny bright lights
your hand in mine
lets walk
far far where we can be alone